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Mother Of The Bride Dresses

7 Tips to Help You Master Accessorising Your Mother of The Bride Look

 We know that choosing a mother of the bride dresses can be a time consuming and often tiring process. But, finding the perfect dress is only half of what makes a mother of the bride outfit.    There is quite a lot of tradition wrapped up in the mother of the bride outfit, and that extends to the accessories she wears on the big day. Her hat is expected to set the tone for female headwear, while her jewellery and shoe choice should fit seamlessly with her daughter's dress code.  To help you feel your best on your daughter's big day we have created this list to help you master the art of mother of the bride accessorizing. From the commonly thought of fascinator and footwear to the less considered options of underwear. We have all the bases covered.  1. Finding the perfect mother of the bride jewellery When thinking about what jewellery you would like to wear, you first need to consider what type of dress you have chosen. If you have opted for a more simple dress, one without patterns, or eye-catching fabrics. Then a piece of statement jewellery can be a great way of adding a level of grandeur to your outfit. But, do be careful not to overdo it! If you, for instance, are wearing a statement necklace, then make sure the rest the jewellery you are wearing is very minimal.    If your dress is on the slightly louder side, we recommend being much more conservative with your jewellery. As this is your daughter's big day you want to make sure your outfit doesn't distract attention from her. Julie Sabatino, founder of The Stylish Bride says 'keep it classic and simple, this isn't the day to be outrageous or experimenting'.   Diane Gottsman, a national etiquette expert, says 'it's all about finding the right balance.' For appropriate jewellery for the mother of the bride, she advises 'going for a nice pair of simple studs, a small ring on each hand, and a bracelet. Then look at yourself and decide if you need to take one piece off. If you wonder if it's too much, it probably is.'  Gottsman also offers this great piece of advice ‘steer clear of noisy jewellery in both sense of the word, you don’t want anything too loud or over the top, like fluorescent colours. Don’t wear any jewellery that’s noisy or dangling or distracting.’ So if your bracelets click together, then they are best left at home, unless you want to risk an irritated side-eye during the ceremony.  As for rings, Gottsmand says to keep any on you right hand on the modest side, since you’ll be shaking hands with friends and family and a big ring could start hurting your hand after a few firm handshakes. Maybe just treat yourself to a manicure instead! 2. Things to consider for the best mother of the bride shoes? When it comes to heels for the mother of the bride's shoes, there is no hard and fast rule. We think that the best advice is to go for what you are confident in and is appropriate for the wedding venue and dress code.  If you are attending an evening, urban wedding, then this is the perfect time to wear a pair of stilettoes, if that is your desired shoe. But, if they are a pare haven't worn them for a long period of time before, we really recommend you try walking in them first. Even if this is only for a few hours around your home, you just want to make sure they aren't so uncomfortable they will distract you from the evening.  Another thing to keep in mind, when choosing a thin heal, is the type of terrain you will be walking on. The last thing you want is to be wearing a gorgeous dress and beautiful shoes, only to be called onto the grass for the wedding photos. As soon as you step out your heel skins into three inches of grass and mud.  As we said in this article, wedges are always a great alternative, especially for a summer wedding, for those still wanting the hight but also a little more comfort.  If you aren't a heel wearer we think that this isn't the day you should start. You want to be comfortable greeting people and that is hard to achieve when balancing on heels. A flat sandal can be a wonderful alternative, as elegant and as sophisticated as a heel. Look at shops such as Emma Hope to find beautiful sandals that can be worn both winter and summer.  We also recommend that you stash a spare pair of shoes somewhere in the reception venue. Just in case your feet start to ache, you can slip on some flats to keep you up and dancing. 3. How to pick your mother of the bride handbag   The first thing many people think of when hearing the words 'mother of the bride handbag' is one that perfectly matches the colour of her shoes. But, you no longer have to stick to this expectation. We think that it is much chicer to pick the tones of your accessories so that they work together in complimenting each other and your dress, rather than completely matching.  Achieving this complementary look does not need to be as difficult as it might sound. Tools such as this one help you find shades that complement one another. While websites such as net-a-porter (for the more high end) and asos (for the more affordable), offer such a wide range of handbags that finding a bag that will be in one of those tones shouldn’t take hours either. When choosing a mother of the bride bag, apart from the colour the next aspect to consider is the size.  We recommend a small handbag. When we say small we don’t mean the small that is trendy right now – so small you can’t fit anything in it. But practically small. It should be large enough to fit the essentials, which for the mother of the bride are a lipstick, some powder, a foldable hairbrush, your card, a phone and a handkerchief. We recommend something with a thin strap or chain rather than a clutch to keep you hands-free. So you can greet guests with one hand while holding a glass of champagne in the other. 4. What are the best mother of the bride hats for 2019? There are many traditions surrounding the hat of the mother of the bride. Etiquette states, that she is able to wear the largest hat of the wedding party and sets the tone for what headwear is appropriate for other female wedding guests.   But, just because there is much tradition associated with the mother of the bride hat, this doesn't mean you need to get carried away by it all. If you aren't usually a hat wearer and are a little intimidated by the prospect, we think you can steer clear of it. You want to make sure you are wearing the hat, rather than the other way around. For the mother of the bride in 2019 the hat is an accessory, not an essential.  But, if you are the type of person who is excited about this opportunity to wear beautiful headwear, we think you should go for it!    To pick which colour of hat will work best with your outfit, we suggest using the same technique recommended for choosing your shoes and handbag, to ensure your outfit looks great as a whole.   We know the fascinator is no longer the mother of the bride stape that it used to be. But, just because smaller hats are no longer so in vogue, this doesn't mean 'the bigger the better' necessarily. As it is quite easy to look overwhelmed in a larger hat, especially if you have smaller features or a more petite frame. It also presents the risk of blocking peoples faces when it comes time to take the wedding pictures. Meaning, you could be asked to take your hat off by the photographer, which might lead to the photographs showing your hair more on the messy side. We think that it is probably best to save those really big hats for Goodwood or Ascot.  The most important thing to consider when asking yourself what type of hat you want to wear is what makes you feel your best. We recommend if you can, go into a shop rather than ordering online, this way you can find what suits you and play with a few different styles and sizes. Or, if you want to order online, or even if you are just after a little more inspiration, the Evening Standard has recently published an article on the best hats and fascinators to wear to a wedding, check it out here. 5. How to master the art of layering as the mother of the bride. A jacket or coat can often transform your whole look, taking attention from the dress, and changing the silhouette of the outfit. Because of this, you want to make sure that the additional layer you choose will not only bring you warmth, but help elevates your outfit, rather than distract from your look. The first thing to consider, when choosing what type of additional layer you will bring to your daughter’s wedding is: what is its purpose. Is it a for protection against the forecast bad weather, is it to cover your shoulders and décolletage while in church, or are you bringing it just in case you get a little chilly?  A shawl or pashmina can be a great option for those who are after a little cover-up layer and some added warmth. Being available in almost any colour imaginable you are sure to find one that will compliment your outfit quite easily.  They are a very versatile option as you are able to wear them so they lay on your arms over the elbow, or from your shoulders or so they cover your whole chest area.  If you are only something to cover your shoulders on a warmer day then opt for a light fabric. But if you want to ensure that added layer of warmth then go for a cashmere or wool blend which is surprisingly cosy. Check out some options here. A jacket can be a great summer or autumn option, for those weathers that are just in-between warm and cold. We think that a well-tailored jacket is often the best choice, as it will keep a beautiful silhouette, drawing you in at the waist. We recommend that you avoid too old fashioned boxy jackets or those that finish in the middle of your torso as they can often make you look smaller and more square.  Try this Seed Dawlish Jacket for a beautiful option.  For the winter, a coat can really be a perfect choice. We suggest that you go for one that hits just above the knee. Covering most of your dress, the coat takes the pressure off matching the outer layer to the tones fo your outfit. You also won't have to worry about it cutting you off in an unflattering place on your torso.  Below is the gorgeous Seed Raquella Coat.   6. The right underwear can make all the difference If you have opted for a more form-fitting outfit, then you will want to consider the type of fabric it is made from. If it is created from a quality stretch fabric then the fabric will do the work of smoothing your figure and flattering your curves. But, if you have gone for a form-fitting outfit of a different composition then you might want to consider what type of underwear to go for. Investing in a good piece of shapewear can help smooth things out and enhance your natural curves. Spanx and Maidenform carry below-the-bust bodysuits 'that won’t pinch or roll like girdles'. We do know that they really don't sound very comfortable, but the technology has come such a long way recently. So apart from the slightly uncomfortable moment of getting it on, you can be assured you will have a night free from Bridge Jones struggles. Another thing piece of advice when thinking of underwear, is, as Martha Stewart Wedding puts it ‘Nix the Nylons’. Fashion today has moved past associating stockinged legs with elegance. Instead, go bare-legged, just add some moisturiser or body oil to help them look their best. If you are worried about being too pale, then try a streak-free, gradual sunless tanner, like this St Tropez one. 7. Is the mother of the bride expected to carry flowers?  Tradition calls for corsages to be given to the mothers of the bride and groom. Yet this is becoming somewhat old-fashioned. If this is a tradition you want to honour in 2019, then give it a ‘modern look, try a flower that is big and elegant, like gardenia or a flat garden rose’.  Or why not try and different approach? Pin a flower to your hair, or carry your own nosegay? This means that you are able to hold it for the photographs and then just leave it on the table when it comes time to dance.    As for what flowers to go for it is really up to you. ‘While lilies and roses are classics’ but you could incorporate your own favourite flower or one that compliments your outfit. Alternatively, you could go for a flower that is in the wedding party’s bouquet to look more uniform or match with the boutonnieres pinned on the father of the bride. Go for whatever would give you the most pleasure, it isn’t often we get to carry flowers so you should try and ensure you get as much joy from it as possible.  Although all the accessories associated with the mother of the bride outfit can be daunting, we think that they should be a fun way of elevating your outfit. We hope that our advice has taken some of the pressure away from your accessory choices, so you can enjoy the process of dressing up for this special day. 

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photo of black shoes on a white carpet with gold earrings

Mother of The Bride: How to Avoid Upstaging or Upsetting the Bride

A child’s wedding is an exciting experience, so of course, you would want this day to go perfectly without upsetting the bride. The mother-of-the-bride has a vital role in the wedding, helping and supporting the bride through the planning process and on the day of the wedding. So, here are a few things to avoid doing so that your relationship isn't pulled apart by disagreements and mother-daughter drama. How to Avoid Upstaging The Bride Consult with The Bride It’s the bride’s day and you want to make it perfect, so it’s important to consult her before heading out to buy your dress. While you may have your own sense of style, it’s crucial that you consider your daughter’s motive. So, talk to the bride and ask her about her preferences and see how she envisions your look. You want to ensure the outfit compliments the style of the wedding and the colour scheme. There may be a certain colour she has in mind that coordinates with the bridesmaids or she may prefer that you stay away from certain colours like black.  You can even ask your daughter for recommendations on colours and dress styles and make your pick so that it matches her expectations. Avoid Certain Colours There are certain colours that the mother of the bride should not wear. The traditional etiquette is, whatever colour you choose, you just want to avoid clashing with the bride. White is reserved for the bride, she wants and expects to stand out from everyone else. So, unless otherwise instructed, is to never wear white or any colour close to what the bride has chosen to wear. Other standard colours to avoid include ivory, white and champagne. But, if black is a colour that you usually like to wear, this might be the time to reconsider. Black tends to be associated with mourning or funerals, so it wouldn’t be appropriate to wear it to a wedding. So, try and avoid these colours unless instructed to by the bride. Choose an Appropriate Dress Don’t be afraid to show your body off in a form-fitting dress but remember to keep it classy.  You don’t want to wear a dress that is too short or has a deep neckline.  Try and choose a dress that is stylish, yet still is appropriate so it keeps you looking elegant and sophisticated.  A wedding is not the place to wear your shortest or lowest cut look. If the wedding is taking place in a place of worship, then it is even more essential to make sure you wear something conservative or bring a cover-up to wear to the ceremony and take off at the reception. Don't Look Like You're Competing with the Bride   Your daughter’s wedding day is a moment to celebrate her, not compete with her. So, a basic rule of wedding etiquette is that the mother of the bride should not outshine her daughter. This dress is going to be an important purchase, but remember that this isn’t a bridal gown So, don’t choose gowns or dresses that would overpower the bridal gown. Also, try to avoid loud patterns that will overwhelm in photos and make you stand out from the rest of the wedding party. Anything that is too bright or shiny will literally take eyes off the bride and put them on you. Avoid Being Too Casual While you want to avoid upstaging the bride with an over-the-top outfit, it is important to avoid dressing in anything too casual. Traditional weddings have dressing etiquette or dress codes to ensure that all the guests dress fit with the formal theme of the wedding. So, as the mother of the bride, try and wear something that is classy and elegant. How to Avoid Upsetting the Bride Don’t Take Over  Emotions can sometimes run high when planning a wedding.so you should provide general support and advice to the bride and groom throughout the wedding process. But, remember not to dictate what should and should not happen. It can be really difficult to not interfere but resist any temptation to do so. Although your daughter wants your assistance, she most likely does not want you to take over planning the entire event. So, try to alleviate the stress of wedding preparations, not add to it. Instead of telling her everything you think she should do, listen to what she has in mind and respect that her happiness is most important. Just remember to follow the couple’s lead, and remember, it’s not about your expectations for their wedding. Don’t Make the Wedding About You Momzilla’s are definitely a thing. If you feel like you want to take over and get upset when things don’t go your way, you may need to take a step back. Unfortunately, this makes the whole event less enjoyable for everyone, including yourself. So, don't take things personally if the couple has something different in mind than what you do.   Remember that it’s your daughter’s big day.  It’s so simple but so often that gets forgotten once the planning is underway. Don’t bring the bride down with unnecessary problems and avoid adding fire to the flames when things go wrong.  Don’t Be Pushy If you can tell the bride and the groom don't like something that you love, let it go. Don't attempt to push them into a decision that they are not comfortable or in love with. You're there to support the bride, not undermine or override her wishes. No matter how much you think you're right, don't be too pushy when it comes to advising your daughter. So, try to explain your point of view with a positive approach, and remember that the bride and groom have the final say in everything. Try to be there to support the bride and give input when solicited but remember not to take over or railroad your ideas into play. Don’t Steal the Limelight The wedding, of course, is all about the bride and groom and so the focus of attention should be on them. So, try not to do anything that may upstage or upset the bride. This means not trying to steal the show or the photographer. So, make sure you avoid drinking too much and don't take the photographer away from shooting the wedding to take pictures of yourself. Don’t Try to Invite Extra Guests This can be tough, especially if the happy couple is opting for a more intimate gathering. But, make sure you always ask before inviting extra guests. So, even if you are helping with finances, let your daughter invite who she wants to and the people that are close to her and the groom. Try and fight the urge to request more invites and try your best to pick the ones that matter most. It’s not your wedding, but your daughter’s and therefore her friends and guests should take priority. Don’t Tell Her Who Should Be Her Bridesmaids Choosing bridesmaids is a job for the bride and the bride alone. So, don’t make your daughter feel pressured into having anyone that she’s not comfortable. She will need calm and supportive people that are close to her with her on your wedding morning and to help her during her wedding process.  Don’t Make Any Changes  You don't want to modify any details without consulting from your daughter and her fiancé first. So, make sure they approve of any changes before you decide to make them. So, if the bride and groom veto a certain wedding decoration or decision, don't become sneaky and make sure it happens anyway.  Don’t Compare Her Wedding to Others Comparing your daughter’s wedding to others can make her feel even more stressed than she already is. So, when giving your daughter advice or ideas for the wedding, say it without comparing it to someone else’s wedding; even if a friend of yours throw the most extravagant wedding for her daughter or you recently saw something gorgeous at another wedding you went too. Don’t Be Too Critical  The bride may ask your opinion about various things throughout the planning process and it is okay to be honest. You aren’t required to lie to spare feelings but being agreeable and positive will prevent the bride from being too stressed. She'll be dealing with enough stressful moments so avoid overwhelming her with any extra ones by being overly critical. Your job is to reassure and relax the bride, not stress her out.  Unless the bride asks you for your brutally honest opinion, do not say anything too negative. If something doesn’t quite go to plan, you’ll have to take it in your stride.  They really need your love and support during the planning process, so reserve judgment and resist the urge to make passive-aggressive comments or push your own expectations on them. Don’t Make Empty Offers  The bride and groom will undoubtedly appreciate the mother of the bride’s help on even small tasks. But, make sure you don’t offer unless you mean it. Volunteer to lend a hand with a few specific things you know you can follow through with.  Otherwise, if the job you offered to do isn’t done, it can cause the bride to become stressed. So, if you commit to a task or make an offer, make sure you stick to your word and do the job as best as you can. Don’t Refer to This as ‘Our Wedding’ It's not your wedding. The day belongs solely to your daughter and her soon-to-be spouse. As much as it is an important day to you, remember that the day is all about the newlyweds, so make sure you avoid saying this.  What Should You Do Instead? Be a Helping Hand From wedding dress shopping and food tasting to picking the flowers and helping with DIY’s, make sure you are on hand to offer advice and support throughout the planning. Most brides still want their mother’s input in the planning process. But, even though planning a wedding is a wonderful experience, it can also be stressful at times. So, listen to her when she needs you, comfort her, reassure her, and support her. There may even be a few hands-on jobs that you can help the couple tackle. This may include stuffing the wedding invitations and stamping them, assembling wedding programs and putting favours together. So, ask the bride and groom if they help with any part of the wedding planning to elevate a bit of the stress off them without adding to it. Be a Voice of Reason Inevitably there will be moments when things don’t quite go to plan and in a bride’s mind, this can be the end of the world.  It is your job to gently and tactfully reassure and remind the bride that in the grand scheme of things, these things don’t matter. Your daughter has plenty on her emotional plate and sometimes she may need your voice of reason. Be the positive force who can bring her back down to earth when she gets a little bit out of control or lose focus of what's truly important. Be Supportive Whether the bride wants your input and help with every little detail or simply needs you there to be mum when things don’t quite go to plan, make sure you are there to support her. Many brides get emotional and stressed before their wedding day, some might even have a temper as well.  So, no matter how angry or frustrated your daughter is, try to keep calm and talk things through in a rational and logical way.  Weddings are a happy and exciting time and it is your role as the mother of the bride to remain positive throughout the process.  And even if the day doesn't look the way you might have imagined, nor her dress the dress you would have picked, enjoy it and remind your daughter that she looks beautiful. Being the mother of the bride means giving her a shoulder to cry on when she's feeling overwhelmed, an ear to her vent to, or reminding her to take a deep breath and let it go.  Communicate with Her Communication is key in any relationship, especially in the process of planning your daughter’s wedding. So, maintaining a clear line of communication with your daughter throughout the wedding planning process is crucial.  If there’s something you don’t like, then make sure you get that point across in a positive and supportive way. Communication is key, it will ensure that boundaries are set and that any differences are resolved as soon as they arise. This will avoid any unnecessary dramas and will allow you to focus on the important things. Finally, don’t forget to take a moment to celebrate this special moment with your daughter. Planning a wedding together can be an amazing bonding experience for a bride and her mother. It’s an important time for both of you, so don’t forget to enjoy it and cherish the memories to make the most of the special day. Don't let the chaos of a wedding shake up your relationship. When things get heated or stressful, take a step back and have a conversation with her.  So, aim to be supportive but not challenging in your role as the mother of the bride during the wedding process. With these tips in mind, hopefully, you can find the perfect balance of the spotlight and support for your daughter’s wedding.  

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Mother of The Bride: How to Avoid Upstaging or Upsetting the Bride

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