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Mother Of The Bride Dresses

7 Tips to Help You Master Accessorising Your Mother of The Bride Look

 We know that choosing a mother of the bride dresses can be a time consuming and often tiring process. But, finding the perfect dress is only half of what makes a mother of the bride outfit.    There is quite a lot of tradition wrapped up in the mother of the bride outfit, and that extends to the accessories she wears on the big day. Her hat is expected to set the tone for female headwear, while her jewellery and shoe choice should fit seamlessly with her daughter's dress code.  To help you feel your best on your daughter's big day we have created this list to help you master the art of mother of the bride accessorizing. From the commonly thought of fascinator and footwear to the less considered options of underwear. We have all the bases covered.  1. Finding the perfect mother of the bride jewellery When thinking about what jewellery you would like to wear, you first need to consider what type of dress you have chosen. If you have opted for a more simple dress, one without patterns, or eye-catching fabrics. Then a piece of statement jewellery can be a great way of adding a level of grandeur to your outfit. But, do be careful not to overdo it! If you, for instance, are wearing a statement necklace, then make sure the rest the jewellery you are wearing is very minimal.    If your dress is on the slightly louder side, we recommend being much more conservative with your jewellery. As this is your daughter's big day you want to make sure your outfit doesn't distract attention from her. Julie Sabatino, founder of The Stylish Bride says 'keep it classic and simple, this isn't the day to be outrageous or experimenting'.   Diane Gottsman, a national etiquette expert, says 'it's all about finding the right balance.' For appropriate jewellery for the mother of the bride, she advises 'going for a nice pair of simple studs, a small ring on each hand, and a bracelet. Then look at yourself and decide if you need to take one piece off. If you wonder if it's too much, it probably is.'  Gottsman also offers this great piece of advice ‘steer clear of noisy jewellery in both sense of the word, you don’t want anything too loud or over the top, like fluorescent colours. Don’t wear any jewellery that’s noisy or dangling or distracting.’ So if your bracelets click together, then they are best left at home, unless you want to risk an irritated side-eye during the ceremony.  As for rings, Gottsmand says to keep any on you right hand on the modest side, since you’ll be shaking hands with friends and family and a big ring could start hurting your hand after a few firm handshakes. Maybe just treat yourself to a manicure instead! 2. Things to consider for the best mother of the bride shoes? When it comes to heels for the mother of the bride's shoes, there is no hard and fast rule. We think that the best advice is to go for what you are confident in and is appropriate for the wedding venue and dress code.  If you are attending an evening, urban wedding, then this is the perfect time to wear a pair of stilettoes, if that is your desired shoe. But, if they are a pare haven't worn them for a long period of time before, we really recommend you try walking in them first. Even if this is only for a few hours around your home, you just want to make sure they aren't so uncomfortable they will distract you from the evening.  Another thing to keep in mind, when choosing a thin heal, is the type of terrain you will be walking on. The last thing you want is to be wearing a gorgeous dress and beautiful shoes, only to be called onto the grass for the wedding photos. As soon as you step out your heel skins into three inches of grass and mud.  As we said in this article, wedges are always a great alternative, especially for a summer wedding, for those still wanting the hight but also a little more comfort.  If you aren't a heel wearer we think that this isn't the day you should start. You want to be comfortable greeting people and that is hard to achieve when balancing on heels. A flat sandal can be a wonderful alternative, as elegant and as sophisticated as a heel. Look at shops such as Emma Hope to find beautiful sandals that can be worn both winter and summer.  We also recommend that you stash a spare pair of shoes somewhere in the reception venue. Just in case your feet start to ache, you can slip on some flats to keep you up and dancing. 3. How to pick your mother of the bride handbag   The first thing many people think of when hearing the words 'mother of the bride handbag' is one that perfectly matches the colour of her shoes. But, you no longer have to stick to this expectation. We think that it is much chicer to pick the tones of your accessories so that they work together in complimenting each other and your dress, rather than completely matching.  Achieving this complementary look does not need to be as difficult as it might sound. Tools such as this one help you find shades that complement one another. While websites such as net-a-porter (for the more high end) and asos (for the more affordable), offer such a wide range of handbags that finding a bag that will be in one of those tones shouldn’t take hours either. When choosing a mother of the bride bag, apart from the colour the next aspect to consider is the size.  We recommend a small handbag. When we say small we don’t mean the small that is trendy right now – so small you can’t fit anything in it. But practically small. It should be large enough to fit the essentials, which for the mother of the bride are a lipstick, some powder, a foldable hairbrush, your card, a phone and a handkerchief. We recommend something with a thin strap or chain rather than a clutch to keep you hands-free. So you can greet guests with one hand while holding a glass of champagne in the other. 4. What are the best mother of the bride hats for 2019? There are many traditions surrounding the hat of the mother of the bride. Etiquette states, that she is able to wear the largest hat of the wedding party and sets the tone for what headwear is appropriate for other female wedding guests.   But, just because there is much tradition associated with the mother of the bride hat, this doesn't mean you need to get carried away by it all. If you aren't usually a hat wearer and are a little intimidated by the prospect, we think you can steer clear of it. You want to make sure you are wearing the hat, rather than the other way around. For the mother of the bride in 2019 the hat is an accessory, not an essential.  But, if you are the type of person who is excited about this opportunity to wear beautiful headwear, we think you should go for it!    To pick which colour of hat will work best with your outfit, we suggest using the same technique recommended for choosing your shoes and handbag, to ensure your outfit looks great as a whole.   We know the fascinator is no longer the mother of the bride stape that it used to be. But, just because smaller hats are no longer so in vogue, this doesn't mean 'the bigger the better' necessarily. As it is quite easy to look overwhelmed in a larger hat, especially if you have smaller features or a more petite frame. It also presents the risk of blocking peoples faces when it comes time to take the wedding pictures. Meaning, you could be asked to take your hat off by the photographer, which might lead to the photographs showing your hair more on the messy side. We think that it is probably best to save those really big hats for Goodwood or Ascot.  The most important thing to consider when asking yourself what type of hat you want to wear is what makes you feel your best. We recommend if you can, go into a shop rather than ordering online, this way you can find what suits you and play with a few different styles and sizes. Or, if you want to order online, or even if you are just after a little more inspiration, the Evening Standard has recently published an article on the best hats and fascinators to wear to a wedding, check it out here. 5. How to master the art of layering as the mother of the bride. A jacket or coat can often transform your whole look, taking attention from the dress, and changing the silhouette of the outfit. Because of this, you want to make sure that the additional layer you choose will not only bring you warmth, but help elevates your outfit, rather than distract from your look. The first thing to consider, when choosing what type of additional layer you will bring to your daughter’s wedding is: what is its purpose. Is it a for protection against the forecast bad weather, is it to cover your shoulders and décolletage while in church, or are you bringing it just in case you get a little chilly?  A shawl or pashmina can be a great option for those who are after a little cover-up layer and some added warmth. Being available in almost any colour imaginable you are sure to find one that will compliment your outfit quite easily.  They are a very versatile option as you are able to wear them so they lay on your arms over the elbow, or from your shoulders or so they cover your whole chest area.  If you are only something to cover your shoulders on a warmer day then opt for a light fabric. But if you want to ensure that added layer of warmth then go for a cashmere or wool blend which is surprisingly cosy. Check out some options here. A jacket can be a great summer or autumn option, for those weathers that are just in-between warm and cold. We think that a well-tailored jacket is often the best choice, as it will keep a beautiful silhouette, drawing you in at the waist. We recommend that you avoid too old fashioned boxy jackets or those that finish in the middle of your torso as they can often make you look smaller and more square.  Try this Seed Dawlish Jacket for a beautiful option.  For the winter, a coat can really be a perfect choice. We suggest that you go for one that hits just above the knee. Covering most of your dress, the coat takes the pressure off matching the outer layer to the tones fo your outfit. You also won't have to worry about it cutting you off in an unflattering place on your torso.  Below is the gorgeous Seed Raquella Coat.   6. The right underwear can make all the difference If you have opted for a more form-fitting outfit, then you will want to consider the type of fabric it is made from. If it is created from a quality stretch fabric then the fabric will do the work of smoothing your figure and flattering your curves. But, if you have gone for a form-fitting outfit of a different composition then you might want to consider what type of underwear to go for. Investing in a good piece of shapewear can help smooth things out and enhance your natural curves. Spanx and Maidenform carry below-the-bust bodysuits 'that won’t pinch or roll like girdles'. We do know that they really don't sound very comfortable, but the technology has come such a long way recently. So apart from the slightly uncomfortable moment of getting it on, you can be assured you will have a night free from Bridge Jones struggles. Another thing piece of advice when thinking of underwear, is, as Martha Stewart Wedding puts it ‘Nix the Nylons’. Fashion today has moved past associating stockinged legs with elegance. Instead, go bare-legged, just add some moisturiser or body oil to help them look their best. If you are worried about being too pale, then try a streak-free, gradual sunless tanner, like this St Tropez one. 7. Is the mother of the bride expected to carry flowers?  Tradition calls for corsages to be given to the mothers of the bride and groom. Yet this is becoming somewhat old-fashioned. If this is a tradition you want to honour in 2019, then give it a ‘modern look, try a flower that is big and elegant, like gardenia or a flat garden rose’.  Or why not try and different approach? Pin a flower to your hair, or carry your own nosegay? This means that you are able to hold it for the photographs and then just leave it on the table when it comes time to dance.    As for what flowers to go for it is really up to you. ‘While lilies and roses are classics’ but you could incorporate your own favourite flower or one that compliments your outfit. Alternatively, you could go for a flower that is in the wedding party’s bouquet to look more uniform or match with the boutonnieres pinned on the father of the bride. Go for whatever would give you the most pleasure, it isn’t often we get to carry flowers so you should try and ensure you get as much joy from it as possible.  Although all the accessories associated with the mother of the bride outfit can be daunting, we think that they should be a fun way of elevating your outfit. We hope that our advice has taken some of the pressure away from your accessory choices, so you can enjoy the process of dressing up for this special day. 

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photo of black shoes on a white carpet with gold earrings

What Traditions to Consider for the Modern Mother of the Bride's Dress Choice

Weddings bring with them many traditions and for the mother of the bride, this can often extend to your choice of dress. But, in a time where many couples are opting out of more conventional ceremonies to make their day more individual. It leads us to the question: how appropriate are the old expectations of wedding outfits today? Can the mother of the bride wear black to the wedding?  The first big rule for wedding dressing has always been 'never wear black to a wedding'. Yet with more and more examples of people defying this expectation, we have decided to break down where this idea has come from. With the aim to decide if it is still relevant and if a mother of the bride can wear black in 2019.   The belief you shouldn't wear black to a wedding is due to its association with the mourning period. An idea that is  believed to date back  to the Roman Empire when families would wear black togas to signify respect for their departed loved ones. Having been first documented in England in medieval times, women would wear near black caps and veils after the passing of their husbands. Remaining right into the nineteenth century, when women who did not dress in dark clothes for a mourning period, were judged as 'dangerously eccentric'.  This historic association, between the colour black and the death of a loved one, is the reason it has been regarded as inappropriate for weddings. Especially for the mothers of the couple, who's black dress would be seen as a sign of disapproval in their child's choice of partner. According to Elizabeth Taxi in her article in Vogue Magazine, this historic dislike of black wedding attire could be felt right into 2016. Her article describes the extent to which this view has become outdated. In an age where the traditional wedding is being left behind, surely those traditions of dress should also?  As of 2019, you can find so many articles advising on how best to wear black to a wedding, in the assurance that it is not only acceptable but a great choice.  However, just because wedding guests are now able to sport the darkest of shades to wedding celebrations, this does not necessarily mean that it is such an easy choice for the mother of the bride. The question of what is an appropriate mother of the bride outfit recently become more relevant, as a tweet of this particular 'mother of the bride' dress  became a viral sensation.  With its layers of mesh, sequins, lace and pheasant fathers it is fair to say that this dress can definitely be described as 'bearly there'. Reactions to it varied from admiration at the body confidence necessary for such a look, to horror at the labelling of such a dress as 'mother of the bride' wear.  Whichever side you fall on with these hilarious tweets, we can all probably admit to the fact that it is not simply the colour of this dress that has caused such a reaction.   We get that just because you want to wear black to your daughter's wedding it does not mean that you would want to cause a storm. That's why we wanted to include this dress, not to scare you as to the reaction to it. But to illustrate the extent to which traditional rules of wedding attire are being regarded as irrelevant. Martha Stewart weddings describe how the old rules and expectations are a thing of the past. In this article about if the mother of the bridegroom can wear black to a wedding, she makes some amazing points.  ‘Haven't men been wearing black tuxedoes for centuries? Why has no one been judge-y about that? If half of the wedding's guest list will be wearing black attire on the big day (including the bride and groom's fathers!), there's no reason why the moms shouldn't be allowed to wear this colour, too.’ In answering the question can the mother of the bride wear black a wedding in 2019 we agree with Ms Stewart's statement: 'Times have changed, why not let your outfit change with them?'. If the bride is happy with your choice and you feel your best then why not go for it? And if anyone gives you the 'side-eye at the reception, ignore them and revel in how gorgeous you look'. A darker shade can also make the perfect mother of the bride dresses for fall.  Which are the best mother of the bride colours for modern times?  In an article in Glamour Maganize Jennifer Hyman the co-founder of Rent the Runway talks about outfit colour etiquette: "There are far fewer rules today when it comes to wedding style, besides the ubiquitous don't upstage the bride. It's acceptable and even fashionable to wear black year-round, sequins for daytime and a cocktail-length dress to a black-tie wedding. My one style rule when it comes to weddings is be spirited! A wedding is an incredibly happy occasion and it is an opportunity to show your best self—whether that's in black, bright pink, or a bold print, this is an opportunity to party!".  Since we are in an age when the colour black has become acceptable, it shows how really any colour, apart from maybe white of ivory, can be worn to a wedding. You could go dark, or bright and bold, or more neutral, whatever makes you feel your best.  Yet, just because you wish to be current with your choice of colour, we want to advise you against falling into the trap of simply going with what is trendy right now. For example, although it is so awfully 2019 we really do believe that you will thank yourself for keeping things like neon firmly away from your daughter's wedding day.  The vast extent of choice available to the modern mother of the bride can make actually finding your best colour quite a daunting prospect. Because of this, we have included some advice on how to find the perfect colour for your daughter's big day. So hopefully you will no longer question if you should be looking for mother of the dresses in blush or in burgundy.  One way of thinking about what colour of dress to choose, is by taking inspiration from the bridal party and the wedding venue. There are a few ways of doing this, one way is 'monotone' which means that the mother of the bride dress would be in 'the same general colour family' as the dress of the bridesmaids. For example, if the bridesmaids were wearing violet then you could opt for a deep purple. Why not try this dress if you are after a mother of the bride dress in purple.  Or you could choose to go directly opposite the colour of the bridesmaids. For a mother of the bride who wants to stand out and create a great contrast between yourself and the bridesmaids in the pictures. For example, if the bridesmaids are in pumpkin you wear navy, for example, you could try the Ontario pencil dress for a mother of the bride dress in blue.  There is also the tonal choice, which means 'choosing a colour in the same theme or seasonal palette as the bridesmaids. So for a winter wedding, the bridesmaids are in emerald-green, you are in charcoal.' Why not try the beautiful swing dress for a mother of the bride dress with long sleeves?  The website David's Bridal offers a great tool to help the mother of the bride coordinate her colour choice with the rest of the wedding party by showing you which shades work best together.  Another way of finding your best shade is by figuring out which colours flatters you the most. Although the idea of 'colour matching' seems slightly 1980s, it is still advised when you are considering what to wear to a big event. There are many tools online that can make the process of finding your colours free and simple.  Once you have worked out if you are more warm, cool or neutral you can then go about choosing your outfit colour either by what shade appeals to you the most or by what would suit the weddings aesthetic and bridesmaids dresses.   For example, if you are you are cool toned and the wedding party are in a dusty pink you could opt for a jade green to contrast. Or if you are more warm-toned attending a summer wedding, where the bridesmaids are in light peach, you could go for a honey yellow for both a tonal and monotone option.  Something else that comes from doing a colour-match is that you become aware of more of the downsides of the traditional mother of the bride attire. The expected pastel colours really don't suit the majority of skin tones. They are only really recommended for those who fit the neutral category, i.e. neither warm or cold, with hazel eyes and browny, blonde hair.  Because of this, we really recommend that you embrace the huge and exciting variety of colours available to the modern mother of the bride. As the fact that really no colour is off-limits means that you can find one that compliments not only the bridal party but yourself too.  How have mother of the bride dresses changed over the years?  It is hard to know historically what the mother of the bride outfit was. Portraits of the newlyweds were sometimes created however these were infrequent due to the expense of their creation. When they were made they would often only feature the couple themselves, and not the rest of their family.  Yet we are able to view the mother of the bride dresses of the last century more easily through the record of photography.  Pictures of royal weddings give us a great way of looking at wedding attire. Click on the links below to view royal mother of the bride dresses from the last nine decades. From the marriage of Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip in 1947 to Princess Margret and Anthony Armstrong-Jones 1960  then Prince Charles and Dinna in 1985 to Prince William and Kate Middleton 2011 and Harry and Megan last year.  These photos show us just how little the mother of the bride dresses have changed over time. Quite striking when you think of the huge evoltion of fashion from 1947 to 2019! The only area in which we can see a change is in the length of the skirt, moving from floor-length to just below the knee. The colour of the dresses has stayed remarkably similar throughout all those years, champagne and light blue tones being prefered. The style and cut of the dresses have also maintained a familiarity through loose-fitting skirts. Cropped or slightly longer jackets that match the dress have also stayed a stedfast staple.  This unchanging mother of the bride dress is not simply a phenomenon within the royal family. Rather, their status as icons of occasion wear means that this is a style of dress that has reigned supreme over wedding dressing.  Martha Stewart weddings describe the pros and cons of this: ‘Not too long ago, the couple's mothers were relegated to a "uniform:" a loose-fitting gown, often beaded, with a matching jacket in some shade of beige or champagne. The colour and style worked for some, especially those who preferred more conservative attire. Today, however, there are many women who want to wear a dress in a colour and cut that shows off their sense of style—and it's not always a beige sheath that allows them to do so.’ This type of dress is all too familiar, countless websites and articles refer to the downfalls of the matronly style. Yet, just because the wedding of Harry and Megan brings this mother of the bride style of dress into 2019. This does not mean that the modern mother of the bride needs to be restricted by such a dress.  Just as the age-old rule 'don't wear black to a wedding' is no longer relevant neither is this unflattering uniform. The internet offers a huge amount of inspiration from red carpet looks to Instagram and webpages. Making it easier than ever to past the traditional 'uniform' to find your perfect option wether that is mother of the bride dresses vintage or something a little more modern. You can make sure it suits you, not just your role in the wedding. Traditionally a bride's mother would be expected to conform to a sartorial uniform, often wearing a dress that would make them look matronly and demure. Yet, this style of dress is a hangover from a time where the mother would take a backseat in the wedding day proceedings. Watching the father walk his daughter's down the aisle, listening to the speeches of the groom, best man and brides' father.  Luckily, this expectation of the silent woman is quickly becoming a thing of the past. Just because you are the bride's mother this does not mean that you have to resign yourself to being a quite, matronly figure. Your daughter's wedding day is one to be proud of, not just for her but for yourself too. We really hope you find an outfit that helps you celebrate this special day.

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Couple, pink dress, black suit, flowers

Mother of The Bride: How to Avoid Upstaging or Upsetting the Bride

A child’s wedding is an exciting experience, so of course, you would want this day to go perfectly without upsetting the bride. The mother-of-the-bride has a vital role in the wedding, helping and supporting the bride through the planning process and on the day of the wedding. So, here are a few things to avoid doing so that your relationship isn't pulled apart by disagreements and mother-daughter drama. How to Avoid Upstaging The Bride Consult with The Bride It’s the bride’s day and you want to make it perfect, so it’s important to consult her before heading out to buy your dress. While you may have your own sense of style, it’s crucial that you consider your daughter’s motive. So, talk to the bride and ask her about her preferences and see how she envisions your look. You want to ensure the outfit compliments the style of the wedding and the colour scheme. There may be a certain colour she has in mind that coordinates with the bridesmaids or she may prefer that you stay away from certain colours like black.  You can even ask your daughter for recommendations on colours and dress styles and make your pick so that it matches her expectations. Avoid Certain Colours There are certain colours that the mother of the bride should not wear. The traditional etiquette is, whatever colour you choose, you just want to avoid clashing with the bride. White is reserved for the bride, she wants and expects to stand out from everyone else. So, unless otherwise instructed, is to never wear white or any colour close to what the bride has chosen to wear. Other standard colours to avoid include ivory, white and champagne. But, if black is a colour that you usually like to wear, this might be the time to reconsider. Black tends to be associated with mourning or funerals, so it wouldn’t be appropriate to wear it to a wedding. So, try and avoid these colours unless instructed to by the bride. Choose an Appropriate Dress Don’t be afraid to show your body off in a form-fitting dress but remember to keep it classy.  You don’t want to wear a dress that is too short or has a deep neckline.  Try and choose a dress that is stylish, yet still is appropriate so it keeps you looking elegant and sophisticated.  A wedding is not the place to wear your shortest or lowest cut look. If the wedding is taking place in a place of worship, then it is even more essential to make sure you wear something conservative or bring a cover-up to wear to the ceremony and take off at the reception. Don't Look Like You're Competing with the Bride   Your daughter’s wedding day is a moment to celebrate her, not compete with her. So, a basic rule of wedding etiquette is that the mother of the bride should not outshine her daughter. This dress is going to be an important purchase, but remember that this isn’t a bridal gown So, don’t choose gowns or dresses that would overpower the bridal gown. Also, try to avoid loud patterns that will overwhelm in photos and make you stand out from the rest of the wedding party. Anything that is too bright or shiny will literally take eyes off the bride and put them on you. Avoid Being Too Casual While you want to avoid upstaging the bride with an over-the-top outfit, it is important to avoid dressing in anything too casual. Traditional weddings have dressing etiquette or dress codes to ensure that all the guests dress fit with the formal theme of the wedding. So, as the mother of the bride, try and wear something that is classy and elegant. How to Avoid Upsetting the Bride Don’t Take Over  Emotions can sometimes run high when planning a wedding.so you should provide general support and advice to the bride and groom throughout the wedding process. But, remember not to dictate what should and should not happen. It can be really difficult to not interfere but resist any temptation to do so. Although your daughter wants your assistance, she most likely does not want you to take over planning the entire event. So, try to alleviate the stress of wedding preparations, not add to it. Instead of telling her everything you think she should do, listen to what she has in mind and respect that her happiness is most important. Just remember to follow the couple’s lead, and remember, it’s not about your expectations for their wedding. Don’t Make the Wedding About You Momzilla’s are definitely a thing. If you feel like you want to take over and get upset when things don’t go your way, you may need to take a step back. Unfortunately, this makes the whole event less enjoyable for everyone, including yourself. So, don't take things personally if the couple has something different in mind than what you do.   Remember that it’s your daughter’s big day.  It’s so simple but so often that gets forgotten once the planning is underway. Don’t bring the bride down with unnecessary problems and avoid adding fire to the flames when things go wrong.  Don’t Be Pushy If you can tell the bride and the groom don't like something that you love, let it go. Don't attempt to push them into a decision that they are not comfortable or in love with. You're there to support the bride, not undermine or override her wishes. No matter how much you think you're right, don't be too pushy when it comes to advising your daughter. So, try to explain your point of view with a positive approach, and remember that the bride and groom have the final say in everything. Try to be there to support the bride and give input when solicited but remember not to take over or railroad your ideas into play. Don’t Steal the Limelight The wedding, of course, is all about the bride and groom and so the focus of attention should be on them. So, try not to do anything that may upstage or upset the bride. This means not trying to steal the show or the photographer. So, make sure you avoid drinking too much and don't take the photographer away from shooting the wedding to take pictures of yourself. Don’t Try to Invite Extra Guests This can be tough, especially if the happy couple is opting for a more intimate gathering. But, make sure you always ask before inviting extra guests. So, even if you are helping with finances, let your daughter invite who she wants to and the people that are close to her and the groom. Try and fight the urge to request more invites and try your best to pick the ones that matter most. It’s not your wedding, but your daughter’s and therefore her friends and guests should take priority. Don’t Tell Her Who Should Be Her Bridesmaids Choosing bridesmaids is a job for the bride and the bride alone. So, don’t make your daughter feel pressured into having anyone that she’s not comfortable. She will need calm and supportive people that are close to her with her on your wedding morning and to help her during her wedding process.  Don’t Make Any Changes  You don't want to modify any details without consulting from your daughter and her fiancé first. So, make sure they approve of any changes before you decide to make them. So, if the bride and groom veto a certain wedding decoration or decision, don't become sneaky and make sure it happens anyway.  Don’t Compare Her Wedding to Others Comparing your daughter’s wedding to others can make her feel even more stressed than she already is. So, when giving your daughter advice or ideas for the wedding, say it without comparing it to someone else’s wedding; even if a friend of yours throw the most extravagant wedding for her daughter or you recently saw something gorgeous at another wedding you went too. Don’t Be Too Critical  The bride may ask your opinion about various things throughout the planning process and it is okay to be honest. You aren’t required to lie to spare feelings but being agreeable and positive will prevent the bride from being too stressed. She'll be dealing with enough stressful moments so avoid overwhelming her with any extra ones by being overly critical. Your job is to reassure and relax the bride, not stress her out.  Unless the bride asks you for your brutally honest opinion, do not say anything too negative. If something doesn’t quite go to plan, you’ll have to take it in your stride.  They really need your love and support during the planning process, so reserve judgment and resist the urge to make passive-aggressive comments or push your own expectations on them. Don’t Make Empty Offers  The bride and groom will undoubtedly appreciate the mother of the bride’s help on even small tasks. But, make sure you don’t offer unless you mean it. Volunteer to lend a hand with a few specific things you know you can follow through with.  Otherwise, if the job you offered to do isn’t done, it can cause the bride to become stressed. So, if you commit to a task or make an offer, make sure you stick to your word and do the job as best as you can. Don’t Refer to This as ‘Our Wedding’ It's not your wedding. The day belongs solely to your daughter and her soon-to-be spouse. As much as it is an important day to you, remember that the day is all about the newlyweds, so make sure you avoid saying this.  What Should You Do Instead? Be a Helping Hand From wedding dress shopping and food tasting to picking the flowers and helping with DIY’s, make sure you are on hand to offer advice and support throughout the planning. Most brides still want their mother’s input in the planning process. But, even though planning a wedding is a wonderful experience, it can also be stressful at times. So, listen to her when she needs you, comfort her, reassure her, and support her. There may even be a few hands-on jobs that you can help the couple tackle. This may include stuffing the wedding invitations and stamping them, assembling wedding programs and putting favours together. So, ask the bride and groom if they help with any part of the wedding planning to elevate a bit of the stress off them without adding to it. Be a Voice of Reason Inevitably there will be moments when things don’t quite go to plan and in a bride’s mind, this can be the end of the world.  It is your job to gently and tactfully reassure and remind the bride that in the grand scheme of things, these things don’t matter. Your daughter has plenty on her emotional plate and sometimes she may need your voice of reason. Be the positive force who can bring her back down to earth when she gets a little bit out of control or lose focus of what's truly important. Be Supportive Whether the bride wants your input and help with every little detail or simply needs you there to be mum when things don’t quite go to plan, make sure you are there to support her. Many brides get emotional and stressed before their wedding day, some might even have a temper as well.  So, no matter how angry or frustrated your daughter is, try to keep calm and talk things through in a rational and logical way.  Weddings are a happy and exciting time and it is your role as the mother of the bride to remain positive throughout the process.  And even if the day doesn't look the way you might have imagined, nor her dress the dress you would have picked, enjoy it and remind your daughter that she looks beautiful. Being the mother of the bride means giving her a shoulder to cry on when she's feeling overwhelmed, an ear to her vent to, or reminding her to take a deep breath and let it go.  Communicate with Her Communication is key in any relationship, especially in the process of planning your daughter’s wedding. So, maintaining a clear line of communication with your daughter throughout the wedding planning process is crucial.  If there’s something you don’t like, then make sure you get that point across in a positive and supportive way. Communication is key, it will ensure that boundaries are set and that any differences are resolved as soon as they arise. This will avoid any unnecessary dramas and will allow you to focus on the important things. Finally, don’t forget to take a moment to celebrate this special moment with your daughter. Planning a wedding together can be an amazing bonding experience for a bride and her mother. It’s an important time for both of you, so don’t forget to enjoy it and cherish the memories to make the most of the special day. Don't let the chaos of a wedding shake up your relationship. When things get heated or stressful, take a step back and have a conversation with her.  So, aim to be supportive but not challenging in your role as the mother of the bride during the wedding process. With these tips in mind, hopefully, you can find the perfect balance of the spotlight and support for your daughter’s wedding.  

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Mother of The Bride: How to Avoid Upstaging or Upsetting the Bride

Mother of The Bride: Essential Styling Tips for Etiquette Rules

The wedding of your daughter will be one of the most memorable events in your lifetime, so as the mother of the bride, you’ll want to look your best. While it’s true that all eyes will be on the bride a lot of the attention will also be on you. You want to look and feel beautiful and elegant. But to find the perfect dress, you must take into account the wedding setting, theme and what the vision your daughter has for her big day.  So, celebrate your daughter’s wedding day in style as we reveal essential styling tips for you to look your best on the big day.  What to Do Before Choosing Your Dress Consult with The Bride It’s the bride’s day and you want to make it perfect, so it’s important to consult her before heading out to buy your dress. While you may have your own sense of style, it’s crucial that you consider your daughter’s motif. So, talk to the bride and ask her about her preferences and see how she envisions your look. You want to ensure the outfit compliments the style of the wedding and the colour scheme. There may be a certain colour she has in mind that coordinates with the bridesmaids or she may prefer that you stay away from certain colours like black.  You can even ask your daughter for recommendations on colours and dress styles and make your pick so that it matches her expectations. Consider the Location and Venue The type of wedding plays a critical role in terms of what the wedding party should wear.  The details make a difference in determining dress length, colour, and the type of shoes that might work best. These days you can get married just about anywhere so it’s important to think about your outfit in relation to the venue. When first starting to plan your mother of the bride outfit, look to the wedding location itself for inspiration. If your daughter is having an overseas destination wedding, where the weather may be a lot warmer, you may want to opt for a lightweight dress such as a maxi-style chiffon dress or simple slim-fitting column-style dress.   But, in addition to location, religious and cultural customs need to be taken into account as well. For example, if your daughter is having a church wedding, this is a setting which traditionally sees a more conservative style of dress. But, if she isn’t having a religious ceremony, then you may be able to opt for a more relaxed style or less conservative type of dress. Consider the Weather As well as thinking about style, you do need to consider the functionality of your outfit. Elements to consider include the length, weight of the material, sleeve style, and colour. If the bride is having an outdoor wedding, it is best to take an outer layer of some sort with you, even if the weather is good. So perhaps find a matching jacket and wrap which is great for the changing weather.  To ensure you appear suitably sophisticated for the day, select an elegant style, such as a chiffon design or a lace bolero, in a colour that matches your dress. However, make sure you are happy with the outfit with the jacket off so that if it gets a bit warm throughout the day, you can take it off and still look good. If the weather is hot, wearing lightweight, natural fabrics for summer weddings will help to keep you cool in the heat.  What to Consider When Choosing Your Outfit Start Shopping As Soon As Possible There’s nothing more stressful than trying to get what you want last-minute. So, don’t leave shopping for your special dress to chance. You’ll have enough to stress about as the big day approaches, so get your dress taken care of well in advance. You may need to go to various kinds of stores to try on different styles before you find the right dress for you. If you are interested in custom made dresses, you should take into consideration even more time for the rounds of fitting and alterations.  So, it’s best to purchase the dress at least three to six months before the wedding day. If you are following tradition, you will also need enough time to let the mother of the groom know that you have purchased your dress so that she can purchase hers. Avoid Certain Colours There are certain colours that the mother of the bride should not wear. Unless otherwise instructed, is to never wear white or any colour close to what the bride has chosen to wear. Other standard colours to avoid include ivory, white and champagne. Another colour to avoid is black.  If black is a colour that you usually like to wear, this might be the time to reconsider. Black tends to be associated with mourning or funerals, so it wouldn’t be appropriate to wear it to a wedding. The traditional etiquette is, whatever colour you choose, you just want to avoid clashing with the bride.    Check with The Rest of The Wedding Party Try to coordinate with the mother of the groom, so you don’t turn up in very similar looks and ideally not in the same colour. Generally, choose an outfit that compliments the bridesmaid’s dresses as well as the colours of the wedding. However, try not to go for something too similar. To stand out a bit from the bridesmaids, so your dress should complement rather than match the bridesmaid’s dresses.  You can always go for colours that complement the whole wedding entourage, so check with your daughter to see if she has a particular colour or theme in mind. Pick an Outfit That Complements the Bridesmaids As a general rule, the mother of the bride should shy away from choosing the same colour dress as bridesmaids. However, it should still compliment the style of the bridesmaid’s dresses. It can be a different style from theirs, but the hues should feel cohesive. So, if the bridal party is wearing royal blue, you could wear navy; if they’re in purple, look for a dress in lavender. Stay within the same colour spectrum for a harmonious look that’ll still set you apart. Dress for Comfort Comfort is key for the big day, so make sure you are completely happy with your outfit and how it feels. It’s hard to enjoy yourself when something is too tight or too loose and there’s nothing worse wearing a great outfit but feeling uncomfortable all day.  Weddings are notorious for being very long days so make sure whatever you are wearing is comfortable enough so that it doesn’t distract you from enjoying your daughter’s big day.  Choose a dress with plenty of movement, which still feels comfortable so that you are free to dance the night away. If you're not used to wearing stilettoes, your daughter's wedding isn't the place to start. Be kind to your feet and get dressy shoes with a comfortable heel. If you know you’re not going to last through your event in your heels, choose a pair of stylish but comfortable flats instead. Also, if you are buying new shoes, don’t forget to wear them around the house a few times so you know you won’t get blisters halfway through the day. Choose an Outfit That Fits Your Personal Style Although it’s customary to go with the motives and the couple’s preferences, it is also important not to ditch your personal style. It’s essential you still find something you feel confident wearing and that reflects your own individual style. You can take others’ opinion on board, but at the end of the day it is such a special occasion and you should feel amazing in what you wear. Be sure you feel good in what you’re wearing, and that what you’re wearing is right for you. Be true to your unique style and you will look amazing.  Choose an Appropriate Dress Don’t be afraid to show your body off in a form-fitting dress but remember to keep it classy.  You don’t want to wear a dress that is too short or has a deep neckline.  Try and choose a dress that is stylish, yet still is appropriate so it keeps you looking elegant and sophisticated.  Don't Look Like You're Competing with the Bride   A basic rule of wedding etiquette is that the mother of the bride should not outshine her daughter. This dress is going to be an important purchase, but remember that this isn’t a bridal gown So, don’t choose gowns or dresses that would overpower the bridal gown. Also, try to avoid loud patterns that will overwhelm in photos and make you stand out from the rest of the wedding party. How to Make Sure You Look Perfect in Your Dress Dress for Your Body Type Your outfit should work with your body shape, not the other way around. Wearing an outfit that is not suitable for your body shape could add pounds to your waistline and make you look frumpy.  Instead, choose a style that flatters your body shape. Take A Photo in Your Dress One of the best ways to make up your mind is to see how the dress looks in a photo. Ask your friend, daughter or even the shop assistant to take photos of you in your favourite mother of the bride outfit.  Once you see how the dress looks in photographs, you’ll be able to make a decision. Choose the Right Accessories Your accessories can either make you or break you, so it’s important that you choose elegant pieces that will complement your overall do.  Pairing the simplest dress with a statement hat and the right shoes and bag can be more impactful. Hat If you decide not to wear a hat, you could opt for an alternative simpler style such a cocktail hat or fascinator in colours which compliment your outfit.  It’s important to ensure that any head pieces don’t swamp your frame and doesn’t hide your face. Finally, make sure that you opt for a colour which complements your dress or matches the rest of your accessories. This will complete your outfit and bring it together as a whole. Bag This special occasion also calls for a special bag. You need a place to store your phone, makeup and other essentials so, a chic will do the trick, so long as it compliments your outfit.  Wear the Right Underwear In order to look and feel the best on this special day, you want to make sure you are prepared inside out. So, make sure you look for undergarments that go well with your dress. Most importantly, shapewear can also change your posture and add your confidence on this big day of your daughter. This will also smooth out any lines to make sure no underwear lines are peeking through your dress. Etiquette Rules  While it may seem old-fashioned, following etiquette rules is certainly good form, however, it's not a requirement. The Mother of The Bride Buys Her Dress First Traditionally, the bride’s mother has the honour of selecting her outfit first. Customarily, the length of the dress for mother of the groom should match the length for mother of the bride. So, the mother of the groom should reach out to the mother of the bride to ask what she is wearing, and then choose her own outfit accordingly.  This way you can avoid clashing colours or styles. If possible, collaborate with the mother of the groom to make sure everyone is on the same page before heading to the bridal shop. The two mothers’ looks should complement one another, and the mother of the groom will typically take style cues from your dress of choice. Sometimes the mothers will even choose to go shopping together. This makes a great bonding experience while also ensuring that the two dresses coordinate beautifully.  Where to Shop For Your Outfit  When considering how to find the perfect mother-of-the-bride dress, take the time to research stores before visiting.   Speciality Stores In comparison to department stores, shops that specialize in bridal wear are better since they will be able to provide you with more options that could meet your specific needs. The assistants there are experts in their field and will know the best styles to flatter your shape. They can also help tailor your dress to fit you perfectly. So, this is the best option for you if you if you don’t know what shapes and colours suit you.  Online Shopping online is convenient and there are a lot of websites to explore  If you are shopping online for your dress, make sure you do it well in advance. Not only will you have to wait until the dress is delivered to you, but you need to be sure it looks good on you once you try it on. Major department store retail sites have a specific wedding shop category and carry a broad range of sizes from petite to plus, which is not so easy to find in small bridal speciality stores.  But you don't need to shop for an actual wedding and mother of the bride dress.  Dresses slotted in categories for evening, cocktail wear and formal wear will also have great options.  Department Stores Department stores will also have plenty of selections of formal wear and evening dresses that you can choose from. But, if you choose a department store dress, you run the risk of someone else turning up to the wedding wearing the same dress.    There are no rules on what you should and should not wear, but when it comes to the selection process, always remember that being considerate on the bride and groom-to-be.

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Mother of The Bride: Essential Styling Tips for Etiquette Rules

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